Law Enforcement

Cynicism is a sin in the Age Of Hope. But cynics won't go gently into the goody good night. . . .

The federal government has tried almost everything in its various bids to get undocumented immigrants out of the country. Now it's trying something simple and unusual: just asking them to please leave.

"Your safety is our priority," the Transportation Security Administration web site tells us. So how does the TSA explain these four ways it's keeping air travelers unsafe?

A Brooklyn jury has found Emmanuel "Toto" Constant guilty of mortgage fraud and grand larceny. Constant is the former founder and leader of FRAPH, the Haitian paramilitary group that in the early 90's systematically tortured and murdered thousands of supporters of deposed President Jean-Bertrand Aristide.

New Orleans mayor Ray Nagin announced that the city would begin citing residents who did not vacate the FEMA trailers in which they have been living.

On July 4 I woke up in Pennsylvania, in a mansion which had served as a station on the Underground Railroad, that network of people and places which helped slaves escape their bondage before and during the Civil War. And I thought that, with the replacement of yesterday's chattel slavery with today's universal bondage, it may be time for a new Underground Railroad.

You check in at the airline ticket counter. But instead of a boarding pass, you get shackled with an electronic bracelet which tracks your every move, contains all your personal information, and can shock you senseless. This vision of the future of air security is being floated around the Department of Homeland Security's research and development office.

The U.S. Supreme Court announced Thursday that the individual right to keep and bear arms guaranteed by the Second Amendment was nevertheless open to regulation, restriction, licensing and registration, just like the First Amendment.

The American Association of Motor Vehicle Administrators received a no-bid contract worth millions of dollars to implement a "verification hub" connecting state and federal databases under the REAL ID program.

So far the federal government has done little to respond to the historic floods in eastern Iowa which are among the worst in recorded history. In order to maintain tyranny in the flooded areas, local governments have had to step up to meet the challenge.

Back in April (it seems like an eon of Clinton ago!) FBI Director Robert Mueller gave a speech to the American Bar Association titled "Corporate Fraud and Public Corruption: Are We Becoming More Crooked?" The question was left open. Mueller wrapped up with a Teddy Roosevelt quote: "Character, in the long run, is the decisive factor in the life of an individual, and of nations alike."

Ostensibly the Transportation Security Administration exists to keep Americans safe when they fly. In reality it's a bureaucratic nightmare which never should have been created in the first place. Consider what the TSA has done to pilots and air marshals to put you at risk.

Transportation Security Administration rules are to blame for the conditions leading up to an accidental discharge of a U.S. Airways pilot's pistol during landing, say airline pilots familiar with the program.

Federal government employees spent millions of dollars of taxpayer money using their government purchase cards to pay for questionable items such as Internet dating services, Brooks Brothers suits, expensive steak dinners, personalized iPods, computers, and more, and much of the expensive electronic equipment has been lost or stolen, according to Congressional investigators.

"What are you working on today, Madam President?" asked Doctor Murchison.

"My plan to fix the housing crisis," said Hillary, without looking up.