Hillary Clinton

Back in April (it seems like an eon of Clinton ago!) FBI Director Robert Mueller gave a speech to the American Bar Association titled "Corporate Fraud and Public Corruption: Are We Becoming More Crooked?" The question was left open. Mueller wrapped up with a Teddy Roosevelt quote: "Character, in the long run, is the decisive factor in the life of an individual, and of nations alike."

"What are you working on today, Madam President?" asked Doctor Murchison.

"My plan to fix the housing crisis," said Hillary, without looking up.

Jeez. The Clinton Obama show is killing comedy. Great jokes are getting lost in the sauce. Did you hear the one about Federal Reserve Chairman Ben Bernanke? Ben walks into a bar. A pair of antlers on his head. "Been cuckolded, mister?" asks a chippy, trying for a pickup. The bartender (a squirrelly guy with no chin) answers for Ben. "Nah -- he's just worried about stagflation."

Not.

I'm suffering from mixed feelings about the New Hampshire primary results. There was only one candidate truly worth voting for on Tuesday, who truly exemplifies the Live Free or Die spirit. Then again, the Old Man of the Mountain is gone, and perhaps that Live Free or Die spirit fell with him.

Halloween 2009. A big night at Castle Clinton. Aka the White House. Even though Bill Clinton is the first black ex-president, his face glows phosphorescent. Bill is thrilled. President Hillary has raised him from the international dead zone to serve as co-host of her first Halloween bash. "The Shadow Party" has Washington abuzz. Anybody who is anybody is coming to the costume ball.